Okay, so I haven’t written anything in awhile.  I’ll tell you why.  On May 6, 2010, I was minding my own business driving a kid to college, being a ray of light in a dark world, so I like to think.  Well, as I’m driving on a beautiful, sunny day in Los Angeles – which is one of the few reasons for living here, mind you – traffic began to slow down.  I looked ahead and saw a black car stuck in the middle of the northbound intersection, waiting to take a left turn, blocking northbound traffic.  No worries, I’m thinking, I’ll slow to a stop and I hope whomever is behind me, if anyone, is paying attention.  Low and behold, I look in my rear view mirror and I see a man driving a Mercedes who DID NOT take Oprah’s No Cell Phone Pledge.  He looks down just as I’m looking at him!  He appeared to be texting.  I told the young man in the car, making a trek to get his young life on track and finish his education, that the man behind us was not looking up and would probably hit us.  I tried to ease to a stop, not wanting to hit my horn, out of fear the car in front of me would slam on its breaks.

Anyhoo, I tried to gain a few seconds by easing to a stop, and still give myself space with the car in front of me in case of impact.  Finally, I had to come to a complete stop – all of this taking place in the matter of about five seconds – and sure enough the DIP STICK driving the Mercedes NEVER looked up until he SLAMMED into the back of the vehicle I was driving.  His thick, beautiful car crumpled like a piece of foil.  He got out.  I got out and he said “Oh my God, how could I do this.  My life is over, I don’t have insurance.” GREAT!  You don’t pay attention while driving your luxury vehicle that you can’t afford.  Am I the only one who thinks that’s INSANE?!

I was cool until I got back into the vehicle and felt a pain in my lower back.  Then I started to feel like Mrs. Sophie in “Color Purple,” and wanted to SLAP the guy.

Needless to say, I am JACKED up.  I have back, neck, pelvis, knee and shoulder injuries, walk like I’m 70-years-old and I’ve been in PAIN for the past THIRTY DAYS! UGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  All because someone couldn’t pay attention while driving a deadly machine.

On the bright side, God blessed me with another t.v. sitcom!  I’ll be writing comedy, which I LOVE to do, so I’m seeing the light through the pain.

Have a good day – AND DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE WHILE DRIVING!  Listen to Oprah.  Listen to me.  It only takes a second to take someone’s life.  Praise God no one was mortally injured.

A.M. Calberg